Hey. I'm amazed you've stopped to take a peak! I'm sorry to say that my blog is full of negative, atrociously positive, philosophical, or otherwise stupid posts concerning my thoughts, feelings, and every day life. But what the hell! If you think it's great, then I think you're great. Got it?

Jul 24, 2012

Happy Tuesday!

I still have to take a shower for the day. I've got two hours to make that happen.

But first. I want to get up to speed on how quickly my summer has been deteriorating.

I'll first begin with a whacky, almost disturbing video that I found just the other day. Ready for this? Here we go.

Okay, so this is awesome. The tune gets stuck in your head.

Now, on to other business. The last chalk drawing I showed you guys was of Rapunzel from Tangled in a weird dress. Yes? Well here's some more for you:

I'm so proud of Kuzco the Llama!!! He's my best so far...though Simba was pretty hacking good....

So um. Yeah, I slept in until 11, dilly dallied until 11:30, slipped on the computer around 11:45, updated my blog around 12:00, and then wrote what I have so far at 12:08. My day is now half over. You see, in two hours I will be walking to the bus stop, taking the bus, and thus proceeding to working for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Then I will come home and let my night life consist of coloring in an anatomy text book, possibly reading, or sleeping. Impressive, isn't it?

Don't even get me started on the fact that I haven't begun my grammar packet for school...

Aww Kuzco. He's so cute!

Jul 22, 2012

The peers I live with these days...

A girl on facebook wrote:

"you must give up the life you planned in order to find the life that's waiting."



(**** <--- Enter bad word of your choice here) that.

First of all, allow me to point out the fact that if you don't go along with your plans, then you're screwing yourself over the moment you enter college. Just saying.

Also, the way she just randomly posts that suggests she's "proud' of her ability to sound wise. It's not wise. It's stupid. Who the hell gives up their plans to visit close friends and just 'waits' to see what happens that night instead?

You don't just have a plan to be successful in life and then give it up to conveniently find the true life for you. What a stupid idea.

I'm going to be a surgeon. I'm going to be rich.

Oh but wait.

I'm going to throw all that away and live with my parents until I find 'the life that's waiting'.

It's probably going to consist of failure and cold cereal.

Jul 16, 2012

Most frankly put, being gay is NOT A SIN.

You fucking homophobes. There. I said it. I'm angry, and you all need to know that.

I mean, even if you aren't a homophobe, you're still an asshole for thinking that a gay couple is suddenly going to ruin your life.

I want to pull my hair out right now! I'm just so mad at the people who condemn someone for being gay without getting to know them!

I hate the influence religion has on this world. I think that's where it's mostly angering me.

And that goes for ANY religion, not just Mormonism.

Religion has started wars, crusades, persecution, fights, narcissism, and judgment.

Hitler thought Christianity better than Judaism.

Romans sacked cities in the name of "God".

Joseph Smith was slaughtered and humiliated because he started a new religion.

There are constant arguments and fights online and all over the world about religion in general.

The bigger the churches get, the more "dominant" and "all that" they become.

And GOD FORBID we all get along instead of waltz around and say, "Oh my gosh, she's athiest." "Oh my God, she's mormon." "Oh my Buddha, he hasn't reached Nirvana." "OH MY HELL HE'S GAY!" 

Why does the color of our skin, personal beliefs, and how we love have to get in the way of how we all live together?

When someone has a sufficient answer to this problem, talk to me. I need something to bitch about.

You know, Brett, you're an inspiration to everyone! ... Okay, maybe just me.

I had a mini panic attack last night when I realized that we are officially half way through summer vacation. Life is rushing by faster than I would like it to be. I blame Tyler. :) Every moment spent with him I find lasts forever, and then is gone within the second. This summer has been romantic, busy, relaxing, and disappointing all at the same time.

My disappointment stems from the most self-hating reason I can ultimately think of: I haven't written substantially at all this summer. Since June 13th, I've kept with myself a confidential journal and compilation of letters to Tyler that only he and I can read, and it's kept my thoughts and my doubts contained and controlled. I haven't, however, written one chapter for my novel, nor have I written two pages for a short story. Not even one. The three times I've forced myself to try, I sat staring numbly into space, my mind and my thoughts whizzing about my head sporadically.

Lucky for me, I happened to stumble upon something earlier this week. I regret to say that I have no idea where I read it, or when I found it, where, why, etc. BUT. I specifically remember receiving the message and taking it to heart. Basically, someone said that 90% of the time, the writer is staring off into space, thinking wildly of other things than actually writing. I think that's how it is for me. Because this blog is an excellent example of this. My last post was a month ago! It took me a month to think of something else to write about, while during that month I did god knows what.

Today's credit in getting me to write something goes to my friend Brett, whose admittedly dark and negative blog inspired me. Who would have thought? I've been searching for my long lost inspiration for a very long time, and only just now finding it within the depths of words written almost nonchalantly from a very good friend.

The only obstacle facing me is the restlessness I feel everyday, and the shifts I need to cover at work. How I look at my days is much more different than how my days really are. For example, I see ten percent of my day being slept through, then two hours consumed by facebook and wandering around like a ghost. Another two hours in just my usual mini-adventure in getting TO the bus stop, then taking the bus to work. Most of my afternoon and evening is spent working, and then I come home and ten percent of my night lift is used reading, sleeping, or writing to my boyfriend in a pathetic little composition notebook recently used for my pathetic Health-class notes.

In reality, what free time I have is spent doing absolutely useless things, and then the productive things I do is consumed by work.

That's why when I have a day off, I do everything in my power to make sure I do or hang out with someone worth hanging out with. Does that make sense? I'm sure it does.

That's all that I feel I have to say for this particular post. I have more to say for today, since I just barely earned back my want to write write write. I'm going to begin a brand new post though, because it's its own topic.