Hey. I'm amazed you've stopped to take a peak! I'm sorry to say that my blog is full of negative, atrociously positive, philosophical, or otherwise stupid posts concerning my thoughts, feelings, and every day life. But what the hell! If you think it's great, then I think you're great. Got it?

Jun 28, 2011

Heaven, Hell, or Nothing at All?

I was challenged to write a persuasive essay about why there shouldn't be a heaven. At Costa Vida, me and my father's conversation went a little like this:

"I'm not sure I even want to have kids."
"They'll bring along a more mature side to you, a reason to grow more compassion rather than focus on yourself. If you die without any kids, all that will be left of you are books, which are good, not many people have even that, but you wouldn't have family."
"I don't want my family to suffer the loss of me. I don't want them to go through pain like that."
"Well that's why people believe in a heaven, so that they have an easier time letting go of those they love. I often wonder what it would be like if heaven didn't exist to the human mind."

I made a point that he really liked; a point that deserves to be applied to my following essay. He challenged me to persuade him that humans shouldn't have to have a paradise such as heaven in their hearts to survive. He challenged me to basically devise a world through fact and imagination that supported the beliefs of NOTHING when someone dies. I take it that he wants to know what a world without religion would be like.

The following definition of Religion comes from The Free Dictionary Online.

a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
The first definition defines that Religion is a way for people to cope with phenomenons of this world, and to have something worthwhile to hang on to, even though they may not be completely sure it's what they think it is. Heaven is a good example of this. The average Christian human believes that Heaven is a place after death where their spirit dwells and lives a lighter, more comfortable life after the challenging life of Earth. It's where they meet their loved ones who had passed, and another way for them to be together. It's an emotional healer for grief and misery pertaining to death. 
Most people cannot fathom what it would be like after death, because eternity is an intangible thought that the human mind can't grasp for very long without getting weary. It's like holding onto a vertical bar and suspending you in the air for a short period of time until you get tired. Your feet connect with the safety of the earth, and you walk as easily as normal people think about their day.  A man could walk to work, safe and sound upon the ground, and think normally about his business calls and his family at home. Say the man should sit down in his office chair and frown at the blank computer screen, seeing nothing but blue. His current thoughts may be reviewing why it's taking so long to load. This man has no religion. He sits next to a very religious interviewee who believes deeply in the LDS standards and won't open his mind to new experiences and thoughts. The man, upon staring at the screen, suddenly wonders what it would be like if he were to die suddenly and see nothing. What if he felt nothing, heard nothing, tasted nothing and smelled nothing? What if that was how his life would go. He does not believe in a place his soul will go to after this life. Had he told the interviewee next to him about his sudden realization, the interviewee would look at him simply and say "Your soul will peel away from your body and float to a holding place, just before heaven, where you will become a missionary and take a trip to Hell and make the nasty souls there wish they had done better in their lives." For the man with no religion, this would sound absurd compared to the simply blackness after life. Despite either belief, the man would think about this realization more often then not, subconsciously finding himself a lot more cautious of anything dangerous. 
If the entire human race hypothetically didn't believe in anything after death and didn't have any religious system to follow; pain, war, and life would be an ocean's width of a difference than it is now. Had people believed in blackness after death, cold and stripped of your senses, with no soul and nowhere to go; life on this earth would seem a lot more worth living for. 
The most common situation that happens to us as a human race included something that has to do with pain or depression. We have emotions that have the potential to be bigger than us and control our lives every day. Take the weather, for instance.  The man, who spends most of his afternoon in an office cubical, where the weather couldn't possibly effect him, feels sad when he realizes that it is a rainy day. He could pretend that within his confined office space, it was sunny outside, but the sad feelings still lurk inside him.  He had no control over it, and felt gloomy all day. It was because his emotions are teased by little things in his life that shouldn't be. When it comes to pain and suffering, we are weak. When there is no such thing to look for after death, the pain and suffering are decreased with caution, in hopes to keep living and get enough of the world and life that by the time death is close to you, you will accept the blackness that will swallow you whole. Everyone is different, and if some still take risks and live their life to the extreme, it will only state that they don't have a fear of the blackness that could be so far away, yet so near. 
When you see a young man enlist in the army during a time of bloodlust and horror, you wonder why he was signing up for the death and despair that awaits him. People who believed in an afterlife would have an easier time watching this young man sign up, knowing that they would be preserved in a good place until you reached him upon your death. You would be with him. Say there is no paradise after death. Say there is the unrelenting darkness described in this piece that would devour every last bit of you before you had a chance to fully live life. Would you be so quick to allow that boy to sign up for his death? War in general would be given a second thought. If there is no reincarnation and no way to see your loved ones after death, would generals and dictators be so quick to diminish their units of human life? What if there was a limit to the souls entering this world through birth? Bloodlust would seem a lot less desired for. If Heaven didn't exist, neither does a Hell. Committing murder would not be thought of as a sin that you had to be punished for, yet there would be no influence to even do it, if any satanic creature was not devised within the creation of Hell. War would not be so brutal. Temptation could be over scrutinized. Wrong doings in the world would have no meaning unless it brought pleasure to the occasional psychopath. 
To be quite frank, without a paradise more grand than life on this earth today, you would think more highly of your job and opportunities that followed when you saved up money for a ski-trip.  You would consider the pleasures of a full stomach and the iPod in your hand rather than the empty feeling of surrounding nothing after you die. Assuming no one believed in Heaven after death, there would be less suicides statistically, and more determination to push through the rough times in life. Heaven is used for weakness. When you cannot handle the challenges in this life, you believe that if you killed yourself, you would lead an easier life, away from financial potholes, abuse, and obesity. You would be perfect and skinny, and your soul would be free so long as you do not kill someone and get yourself planted in the fiery consumes of Hell. Knowing that what awaited you after the painful passing of death was nothing, you would be more careful to say hello to a neighbor one morning and exercise more to keep you feeling the best you can. 
A life without a tempting paradise afterwards seems a little less grand, but a lot more worth it. However, as the definition above states that humans use religion to help them explain things that science cannot, it is a cushion for those who cannot bear to be told that death rewards nothing. Sometimes these cushions however, become a cover of clouds that cushions one's entire mind. They think that it is the only way, and that others should believe that way as well. Thus leading to missionary and prejudices against other beliefs. Another mess that would be avoided if the human race had no religion. 

Jun 25, 2011


So I got new headphones: that's a very good omen about a good day. But at the same time, I feel as if this will be a very long, very boring day. You wonder why? Well, to be honest, it's because I ate a few cookies and now I'm not feeling so skinny in my bikini. Ah well. I'll suck in while I'm walking around at the pool. Also, I was stung by a bee yesterday. How awesome is that? It looked like this huge welt on my thigh! Bleh!! That is a bad omen. Although...headphones....bee sting....I don't know which one over throws the other. :\ I'm clueless. I'm also bored and I don't feel like writing, which is bad, because I SHOULD write so I can get that stupid book over with, but I'm just not feeling it. I have no idea on what to do with that chapter. >:| Sometimes things frustrates me very easily. I know it shouldn't, but it does. Now I have nothing more to write about other than the fact that I've found three spiders in my room today. (:-( I don't understand what's happening to my bedroom! It is being infested with spiders!

Jun 24, 2011

Intense Summer Heat

Okay listen up folks. I am going to describe to you the spirit degrader of summer.

The heat.

Basically my house becomes so hot in the mornings, despite having all the windows and blinds closed, that I sit at the computer, TRYING to write, when I keep having to wipe away sweat every five minutes. This is maddening! I know that AC costs money, but mom said I can turn it on around eleven....except that I forget to do it and then I remember at noon and by then it's already too late. You see how hopeless I am?! I mean, it's so hot that the butter is nearly a puddle of fat.

It's this heat. It is the heat that is distracting me from my writing. I feel lethargic and tired instead, and I ended up falling asleep when I had a pretty good night's sleep last night. You know how frustrating that it? And then going outside doesn't help, because I'll be drenched in sweat in ten short minutes of standing out there. Suddenly I am thankful for the pool, yet unthankful for certain times of the month when I WANT to go to the pool. >:| They say this summer wasn't nearly as hot as other summers, but damn it! It's sooooo hot!!!!! I want to throw water on myself right now. I want otterpops.

Jun 23, 2011

Quesadillas Cannot Cook in Spall Pans

I say this because I attempted to cook full torillas smothered in cheese in a small frying pan. Now, the pan was probably an inch smaller than the area of the torilla, so I figured that I could do my best in letting it cook anyway, because it got most of where the cheese lay. That was when I discovered that quesadillas remind me of pie. Or at least this one.

You see, pies have filling. Quesadillas have filling. Pies are cut into triangles. Quesadillas are cut into triangles (If you do them right.). The problem with this logic, however, is the fact that pie is sweet and doesn't give you an after taste, while these gross store-bought torillas do. That's why you put as much cheese in it as you can to counteract the taste. Otherwise, I wouldn't even bother with this post today.

I write this post today, because I do not want to work on Chapter 28 when I really need to. I don't, because I know that it has to be long. I have to, because it is the last chapter of part 2 and the sooner I get it done, the sooner I can crash. :( Sometimes writing a book has its perks, but sometimes it doesn't. I already had my break day (Yesterday) Because it's a Wednesday and Wednesdays aren't good days. So there. :|

Jun 22, 2011

The Future Within My Grasp

I underwent something weird yesterday; a feeling I could only describe as a mental meltdown. The stimulating reason as to why it happened is only just: The Utah State University website. I know what I want to do, but I can't get there fast enough. 
 I see what I wish my college life to be like, but I'm afraid it won't turn out. I can picture myself in the American Fork High School hallways, just strolling along to my desired class. I can imagine myself getting good grades and socializing with a lot of new people. I see myself in my Journalism class, making Mrs. Ludwig-Shelton pleased to have gambled with bringing me in. I can even think of myself in the high school bleachers screaming at the football team and having a blast with my friends. I'm ready to feel what its like to be a high-schooler, and then shortly after that, a freshman in my first year of college. I want to learn. I know I said that I hated school all throughout Junior High, but those times took place in Math or Science, or at times when some dramatic problems happens with friends that I don't want to be caught in. I say I like school, or I like learning, because every single day I get to go to a class I chose and learn something new that I don't mind learning. Something that might help me along with my pursuit of career. I think about the three years I get to spend in high-school, and I think to myself, "Hey. If I can't get psychology this year, then I can get it next year, or the year after that." And if I can't get it in high school, there is always college. That is why I am so excited about college. 
Except that when I'm so excited about college, that's all I can think about. That's all I fantasize about. I suddenly want this summer to go faster so I can get to college quicker. I know I can't do that. I have to do things before I get to college in the first place. I have to have money. I have to have a high school diploma. I have to apply for scholarships. I have to drive. I have to work. I have to meet new people and maintain a social life. Last night, all of those thoughts ran through my head. However, the biggest predicament that really depressed me was my hobby. How would I ever have time to continue writing and publish when I'm young? Of course, people would immediately say, "Summer time!" or "This summer, silly!" Yes well, I have been using my summer time wisely, or as wisely as I could possibly make it, but I have also been getting distracted and restless as well. 
Mother told me to calm down and to not stress over any of this right now. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it tonight. I agreed, and went along to finish reading Ray Bradbury's Fahreheit 451. I realized that all I wanted to do, other than my big futuristic desire, was to read, write, sleep, and listen to music. Maybe that's all I should do this summer...although I'll have neighbor's bugging me, brothers bugging me, swimming to do, fat to keep off, exercise to continue, and friends to see. See? Summer isn't always completely lazy.

Jun 20, 2011

Stars Don't Fall Update from Little-Miss-Author

Okay, so as my readers know, I'm pretty much writing a book. Well! I finished chapter 26, sat down in my soft chair, pulled the notebook on my lap, and something hit me. The second book to the Fantasy Roleplay trilogy!!!

Really guys. I'm serious. I came up with this big plot for my second book, so now I can't write fast enough to get to it. You guys wanna know what it is? Yes you do.

So basically I'll be giving away the end of my current book....shit. Nevermind. I don't wanna do that! Now what do I write???

Nah I'll just tell you.

Wvern had been destroyed, along with all of its simple technologies. Syrusses is the new ruler of the planet Curzonin with McKenzie as his queen. Syrusses's own hostages escape into the wilderness of Curzonin and experience new challenges they had never faced before: violent animals, ashy rain, and volcanic terrain. Alyshia nearly gives up leading her friends until they discover an abandoned village. They used it as a rest stop, only to discover a girl close to their age who captures all their hearts. They turn around and begin a rebellion to over take Syrusses's capitol city while he was still weak without an army.
Victory feels likely this time. 

And then for a third book, Cyran and McKenzie and them all rebuild Curzonin and use the sword to change the features so it's sort of like Wvern again, and they create a new kingdom and stuff, but the sword is being overloaded with power and is going haywire, and it creates this big monster that threatens to destroy all life on the planet, and then they have to ask Syrusses to help them out, even though they put him in a dungeon a while back, because Syrusses is the only one who may know how to destroy the sword and the monster, and find a new way to keep the planet's life source from dying off without the sword.

It was quite a short period of time to come up with it, but it's only because I had a dream a few months ago. I'll describe it to you:

Something happens to earth where quite a few people die, nearly the whole world, and only a few people had the opportunity to get aboard a spaceship and fly to anew world. Just before they get there,t he ships mess up and they crash land in an undestined planet, scattering people all over the big world. Few survive and moved to high ground from the weird conditions of the planet. From there they and settled and mated, but birth was rare on the planet from weird gases floating in the air.

From there, there is a girl who is left alone at her village just before others were supposed to come with a message. They had all mysteriously died in a rogue animal attack, but discovers something very human that suggests that the attack was human. Now, scared for her life, she fleas to the inside of her village's fortress and barricaded it. She doesn't want the other people to come for her either, so she hides, hoping the other will the traps she laid out. Then new people come along and decide to help her out and get past the booby traps.

I'm working on Chapter 27 as we speak. :D This is so exciting!!!! And you know, I have my entire story so far on my profile, if you're curious. I have a lot of readers who love it so much. ----> Profile

So anyway, there's a good update for ya. I'm pretty excited about this new idea that has come up. Super excited.

Jun 18, 2011

Open Your Eyes World

Society decides the rights and wrongs of this life. How odd that we, as individual people, let it control our lives. We live by the expectations that leaders above us set. We are monkeys doing everything that everyone else does. It's the same revolving pattern, always cycling, never ending. When someone says that humans are habitual creatures, they are certainly right. We go to work every morning, drinking a beverage every morning, try to go jogging every morning, sleep every night, and then wake up every morning to start the cycle over again. Sometimes there are people out there who will stand up and do something new. Maybe begin a new sport, like rock climbing, or do more things past eleven at night.

Or maybe discovering a new way to live. Everyone is married; woman to man. Everyone has sex after they're married; man to woman. Today, people are discovering that whatever feels natural to them, they should pursue. Gay marriages are showing up everywhere, but there are some close-minded people out there who are trying to fight against it. What's the harm in letting people marry man to man? It won't bother your own sheltered families. Sure, it means a lot less converting to the church, but just as the Roman Catholic church had been, religion is slowly beginning to control society. Polygamists have a hard time living in this world, despite them actually being religious and following their churches, because it's DIFFERENT from what people who consider themselves "normal" sees. Teenage sex isn't bad, as long as they are careful and know what they are doing. It isn't "wrong" unless you make it wrong. They are just curious, and wonder what the world has to offer when they are adults. Adults who aren't married have sex as well, and people decide that it is perfectly wrong to do so, even though they are adults and know what they want and what they do to be careful. Adults who have sex even after marriage, but with full consent of their spouse is called polyamory. It's beginning to sprout up everywhere, even though not many sheltered people in especially Utah may not know that.

There will always be new things that come up. People will always find new ways to live their lives and be their own person. No one can look at something and say it's "wrong" when they haven't tried it themselves. Until you know what it feels like, natural or unnatural, people need to open their minds and look at the world with a new outlook. None of this brainwash shit that everyone belonging to some sort of church is going through. You can still have religion in your life, but people take it a little too far. It's become a major aspect in your life, when it's merely to bring comfort to you when you see phenomenal things and explain things that couldn't be explained scientifically. It's to bring warmth in your heart when you are down, and to follow life-lessons that should only be achieved without serious judgment or entire life changes. It's there to guide you when you stray too far off course. It's not there to control your life and tell you what you should or shouldn't do.

You wonder why you get sick of church sometimes.

Jun 17, 2011

Forgetful Me

A while back I had written all my friends a note. I cropped the notes. I glued the notes to different colored foam papers. I gave two of the notes cool new bookmarks. And I gave the notes away except for two. I thought that since I can't give those notes away anymore, and if I tried writing it on their walls, it would be too much for poor facebook to handle. But Blogger can do it. And this is how I'll do it.

Drew Renshaw: We've had some silly disagreements recently, but that shouldn't stop the fact that we're good friends and that despite you're a lot closer to Kaylynn, you can still trust me with certain things. You have a slight ego that doesn't necessarily create a distraction, but makes me want to laugh when you try to live up to certain things. (Btw, you're pretty good at it...) You're random, and silly, and You have a spectacular voice, and I wish I could have one of my own. You're talented, and a great actor, and you've made A-Day lunches such a good time.

Kaeli Heaps: You're cool. :) More than cool. You're so sweet and understanding, and I can talk to you about anything if I wanted to. I feel more important around you...except for those times when you're with Tyler. Then I sorta feel like I'm a fly. That's aside the point. You don't hesitate to let me hang out with you when I don't have anywhere else to go, and you've made German and English a blast. Your squeaks, every time someone pokes you, makes me giggle, but at the same time, I can totally relate...because when I get poked....oooh...bad things happen.

Tyler Keetch: Hah. European History. Good times, what with the explosions, the dying people, the dogfights and the wars....:D See, it's a good class to have you in, because you're a guy, and you can relate to me. What with the violence and things. But you're hair is cool, and you're love for Kaeli inspires me a lot...I must admit. Sometimes I'm even envious, but whatever. I just thought you should know that you made this year a good one because you're hilarious. Btw. I forgive you and Ryan for cracking your knuckles over and over....*Shiver* I'm trying to get past that....Trying. 

Maddy Thomson: Sometimes it can be scary, when you fling yourself at me, or your drama causes anger within you and Kaylynn, Drew and I have to run for cover. But as annoying as you might seem to others who don't know you like we do, you have reasons to be the way you are. To be Maddy. I respect those reasons, and on your good, silly days, it's fun to watch you have a good time. Everyone has feelings, and those people who judge you or cause you grief in your life don't deserve to even know you. You're the one who's really spiced up PE when it can be boring, and that's what got me through most of the last Semester. Thanks Maddy, I love you a ton!

Jasmine Brazier: You're adorable, and even though you might be a little self-conscious, (Even when you don't need to be) I think you are beautiful in every way. You've always been nice, and been a good friend, and you've been such a sensitive, connecting person. When you cried for
Kaeli and Tyler's week-long breakup, it opened my eyes to real emotion, and I realized that if Kaylynn and Nahuel broke up, I'd be balling for hours in one night, just for them. So it's that reason why I can cope with you. Another reason is I don't want you to move, even though you are. Karma. Weird isn't it? Everyone was worried about me moving, and now I've turned right back around to wish someone else wasn't moving...I can't believe the school year has gone by so fast, and I've only known you a few months. I should have opened my eyes further...but sometimes I don't think. Otherwise we would have been friends long before freshman year. 

Nahuel Ramos: Suck it up and deal with this new knowledge I bring you: Albinos have feelings. And these feelings come from the heart. Despite your teasing, you've been a great friend. Sure, we don't meet a lot, and even at those times we do, all you want to do is be with Kaylynn, but you do acknowledge me, and I guess that's all that matters. At the beginning of the year, your mysteriousness has always been a little curious-making, and I always believed Kaylynn, but I'm known to have iffy faith in something I can't see. When I did see you for the first time, I knew you were a cool guy. You held your chin up triumphantly, like there is nothing in this world that could stop you from getting what you want: Kaylynn. You're a good friend to me, because you treat my best friend like a queen. You make her happy when I can't, and that's all I can really ask for. We make a good volleyball team, down in Kaylynn's echo room, so there's a plus side to our friendship, and I'm sure there are a whole bunch more pluses that I'm too lazy to list. :) 

Brett Anderson: You're near the end for a reason, so don't feel left out. In fact, I hope you know this, and if you don't, remember it for the rest of your life: You'll always be last, because the last people are who I think about the most. I think of the first ones to get their thoughtfulness-duties out of the way so I can dwell on the ones who really deserve it and really delve deep into my thoughts about them. Brett, you're quirky, you're hilarious, you're silly, you're random, you're smart, you're clever, you're a skinny dude, and you're adorably handsome in my book. Basically what I'm trying to get at is, You're a nice guy, and nice guys are desired in this world. In fact, the world doesn't have enough of them, and I think that someday, when you and Jessica get married, she'll tell you over and over that she's glad she picked you to be her nice guy. Brett, you've made this year fly by in a hurry, but in a good way. You've distracted me when I'm down, you've helped me when I'm depressed, you're crazy with me when I'm spastic and loopy, and you're always there for me. There's not many flaws in you, and it doesn't matter. You don't get embarrassed easily, and I think that's a perfect trait. You speak your mind, you don't hide it. In a way, you're a lot like me, and that's how we get along so well. So remember, this is no goodbye, but merely an early "I miss you letter" for this three day weekend. I'll force room in my schedule to hang out with you this summer, so just remember, we aren't far from each other, as long as you make us close.  :) Love you Brett. 

Kaylynn Farley: I've written you so many notes, so many letters, and so many blog posts, but there's always a limitation to stop me from saying everything I want to say. Time. Paper. Muscle strength. Computer Screens. Battery. Text-message limits. Pencil Lead. I can't ever let it all out at once. So I'm counting on you to be patient with me, and wait for every letter I send you in this lifetime. You're paragraph probably might not have a big summary of the year, because we both know how the year went paragraph today only has one element now, and it's an answer I've been reflecting on for a few months now. If you were to die tomorrow, what would I have regretted not saying to you before you died? Well, McCleskey brought up this question in a lesson one day, and she explained how her uncle died before she could bring him cookies. She had never been able to tell him how she felt and how much she loved him. She told us to tell three people this soon and it inspired me to do this for you. I want you to know that you've changed my life. I thought I was friends with someone who knew me well, but I was wrong. I took a risk and it ended up being a very meaningful one. I became friends with you. It proved to me how much I can trust you, and how much I can tell you. It proved to me how many more risks I can take in my life without damaging my spirits, and how much more I can love a mere friend. McCleskey said that adescolences rely on friends the most in their lives, but I think it's different for us. I think we'll need each other longer than 12-15. I would hope we'd stick together until we're 60. So tell me this, Pepe. Have I been the friend you've needed all year? Every day I try not to be too clingy, like some people. I give you your space when it's clear you need it, but then other times I be there for you, when you definitely need it. I know what your predilections are, and what your dislikes are. I know what makes you tick. I can predict certain things from you, but at the same time, I can't even guess what your next move is. What you should know is that you and I can laugh together, can sing horribly together, can cry together, and can team up and make someone else wish they weren't alive together. One of us might be stronger than the other in sports, but then the other is stronger in homework-smarts, and it balances us out. We motivate each other, even when we don't realize it. We encourage each other, and I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that I would NEVER ask you to jeopardize your future, or ask you to not follow your dreams just because I'm jealous. I will always listen. I will always be honest. I will always encourage you, no matter what. I will always keep our promises and secrets, and I would never forget you. 

Friends are hard to find
Difficult to leave
and IMPOSSIBLE to forget

So don't ever forget this: I luff you with all my teeny weeny heart, because my teeny weeny heart is secretly a black hole that opens up into an earth-sized heart, and that's my whole heart for you and our friendship. 

So yes, that sums up basically all that I wrote to my beloved friends, and that's what I want them to know. Because if they suddenly died and I never got to tell them what they should have known had they died, then this is what I want them to know in case they die tomorrow. You can never know when someone will die...

Jared Leto

Yes, I still think he's very very schmexy. :D Of course, there are a lot of other good looking men as well, but he's just always been there....taunting me with his good looks. My mother....inappropriate. We were playing apples to apples and the card was "cold" but I wanted opposite, so she put down a "create your own" and when I turned it over she said "JARED LETO!!!!" And I was like "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" And I melted. But I kept it cool on the outside. Everyone was trying to persuade me not to do that card. Then mom swoops over to me and she whispers, "Imagine his fingers running down your leg." Shivers. Although, at the same time, it creeped me out. Think about it.....has anyone ever seen the music video for Hurricane? Yeah. Not good. Even the censured version is horrible.

Anyway, my Cousin drew that for me, then I poster-ized it on picnik for fun. HA! I love him! He's so adorable!

Jun 15, 2011


I haven't been feeling the magic lately. I mean, usually I've always been wanting to write and write and write, but I'm stuck on Chapter 26. I don't know what to do. I know what I want to go on, but I don't know what else to write for that little part. My mind won't let me go on until I've perfected Chapter 26. I don't know what to do! I need more inspiration, maybe. But all I've wanted to do was role play with my fellow plotters for the story, rather than actually write it. I'm also pushed, because I desperately want to finish the book and make it a beautiful best seller so I can get money for college! I know it takes time though. Let alone courage to get it in for publishers. Blach! Writing a book is so stressful sometimes! Especially when I try to think so far ahead...I shouldn't have to think so far ahead. I really shouldn't, but I always catch myself doing so. I keep getting distracted, and I'm sometimes just too lazy, and sometimes I don't feel like writing it out by hand, and sometimes I don't want to type, and sometimes I just want to sit or go swimming or do something with friends rather than write. I wonder if this is how Authors feel, especially when they write for a career and are trying to get books out on schedule...I need to prepare for that, as well as journalism, which I hope I'll like and make a career out of. I cross my fingers now, and hope that this book, after I get full on permission, and possibly change some names in it, will become something better than it really is.

Jun 14, 2011


I believe today should be a good day. Why? Because I get to go with my mom to retrieve my social security stuff. That way I can take my permit test and begin driving! I hope to start driving even sometime this weak! The thought of driving five hours to Boise is scratched out on my thought bulletin board, because mom has to work on the Fourth of July. Dang. Oh well, I'll get more hours some way or another. It will also be a good day, because I look forward to getting a Sensuous Sandwich. (You're welcome, Almond, for the advertising.) It is the best sandwich in the world! :D At least I think so. I'll be working there in December too! How exciting is that??? Not very I guess. At least to people who already have good jobs. Well BLECH! This will be my first job, so there. Ha. Blafdkjalkdnfks!

I'm a little restless, if you can't tell. I've been doing jigsaw puzzle after jigsaw puzzle, and let me tell you, my eyes are wigging out. I keep seeing puzzle shapes on the screen! Just kidding! I have great eye sight! :P

Jun 12, 2011

Realizations, Points, and Fear Conquering: I Am Becoming an Adult

My grandparents stopped by tonight to check out our new house, and I would never have anticipated the things we talked about tonight. First of all, they're anchored deep in the LDS teachings, and I would have expected some hints about the church, as if they were going to remind us that we weren't LDS. Instead, we got caught up in the past, hearing story after story from my grandfather about dates and cars and how he fell in love with Grandma. Of course, it didn't randomly start out like that. In fact, we started talking about their health and what was going on in their lives. Being so old is bound to result in some heart-breaking problems, and they went on to talking about that. They talked about all the medicines and oils they had to take and all their expensive equipment to keep them alive. Grandpa told stories of a poor nurse and the chair being lifted from under him, and it was all pretty cute and funny. It would be funnier had I decided to just ignore those inner thoughts creeping up, but realizations started to pour their liquid fire down on me.

These days, it has become too expensive to even keep yourself alive. People spend thousands of dollars on fancy things that make your feet vibrate, or medicines that don't even help. When you break your arm, you have to pay for an expensive hard cast just so you can suffer with it for six weeks. Some things work, but not every treatment in the world will work. A lot of it could be scams. And a lot of it is advertising. I have this rising doubt that corners me in my dreams and thoughts, and that's the idea of paying for all these things, convinced that they'll work, then having it turn around and kill you, when all you needed was to heal naturally. Your body is an amazing mechanism, and if you can't heal from something, then it's practically stating that your time is up. Instead of getting fake organs, just let yourself go naturally. There will always be a reason to live, whether that be an uncompleted dream, or for hamburgers. Either way, you'll have to accept that you will die, and that knowing you're suffering from something very life-threatening is a good time to come to acceptance. That's why I am going to die naturally, and then be cremated. I won't spend thousands of dollars for something that a poor man living in a shelter home could never dream of having. Nor will I let my family or friends pay thousands of dollars for a stupid decorated casket and an eight foot deep hole where my non-existent body will lie. Who wants to be buried anyway?

I don't, because I'm not sure I will have all the money I dream of having. I know quite a few friends who get a lot of things from their parents. I know quite a few rich friends, and I'm glad I'm raised how I am. I'm thankful that I've learned to work for what I want, and I'm thankful I've developed a determination to get where I want to go.

I have something to say today. It's odd that I choose today, of all days, but I'm sure it won't hurt anyone. I'm tired of keeping this in, and if my parents decide to read this post, then let it be done, but I won't take these words back. I don't like it when someone calls me a teenager. I am one, and I realize this, but I don't need to be reminded every day. I'm usually called one when I do something very teenager-like. Well, I'm not like most teenagers, to be honest, and I'd like people to know that. I'm more of an adult than anything else now. I am working hard at writing a book. I have my own money and buy my own nice things. I've basically decorated my entire room on my own money. Even my bed was partially bought by me. I know how to take my limitations and turn them into something bigger. I have a high tolerance of things, and I can be very patient when I want to. I try not to brag a lot. I have the power to keep myself from whining like a baby. Even though my brother makes a big deal about it, I know when I am bossy, and I know when I am making wise choices, (Like when to go to bed!) I clean without having to be told to, and I can plan and host my own parties and events when I put my mind to it. I know quite a few adults who are tired all the time and don't want to smile. I know quite a few adults who work AND complain when they want. I'm saying this because I do all of that as well, but it doesn't put me into my own category. I'm not love-sick like other teenagers, and I actually have some responsibility, even though my parents are having a hard time to discover that. I say this, because they've given me the sex talk countless numbers of times, and they keep telling me things over and over that dangerously cross the Normal | Intimacy line. I've heard it enough times, and I can make my own decisions about it. I don't necessarily want to hear any more of that, and I'm asking nicely.

I've given you my strengths and weaknesses, but definitely not all of them. This post is titled as such because I've had a fear of confronting my parents and telling them what I've just described above. I'm more scared of my father suddenly getting angry and yelling at me because I've "confronted" him like every young person who "thinks" they're rebellious would do. Well, I know he wouldn't, especially if I write out my feelings in an organized manner and be an adult about this, which I am. In fact, I hope to set an example for every person out there who suddenly changes into a whiny voice when their parents hint that they haven't done the dishes, or tries to put a show on for their friends of how much their parents don't control them. Despite everything I've said, I'm smart, and I realize how much my parents mean to me, and support me. I can't help but bring up a Sunday when my dad yelled at me, just because I was a little irritated at finding a pen for him. I made points that he didn't like while pushed to tears, but I think we were both being a little hot tempered that day. He has made several good points that I've brought into consideration, and I have made points that I feel as if he should bring into consideration. In the following bulletin list, I will point out that my wise father's points are much much more in comparison to my own young, fresh considerations. Fellow readers who don't understand the situation should note that the following will bring you more out of the depth and will bring you good advice for when you get in a fight with an adult.

Karl's View:
  • I rely on my parents at this age, because they keep my head well above the water.
  • Just because I buy things with my own money, doesn't mean I can't share them with a good attitude.
  • I am making a fit when I do not need to. I should appreciate what my parents do for me, and I should contribute a lot more after all they work for.
  • I should show complete respect to those above me for not only times like this, but always, and should not look down on others.
  • Like all teenagers do, we have egos that push us to do things we don't have to do, like rebel against things that jerk our sensitive hormones, and we should resist against those or at least think about them before hand.
  • I should get more sleep on the weekends, because I'm obviously in a cranky mood, especially on Sundays. 
  • I should quit butting in when it isn't my problem, and I should keep a calm attitude when it comes to lending pens. 
  •  I should certainly think before I say things, because it can become a problem.
My View:
  • I do rely on my parents, but I need to develop my own individual and learn how to do things on my own.
  • When you become angry about something, or even irritated, you should calm down before you confront a new problem, especially if it's someone who was peacefully reading on the couch.
  • I can hear mom getting upset about the pen situation, but I know when to interfere with a pissed off mother, and when not to. I have a very good judgment on when to include myself. (Unless I just want to piss off Tyler even more)
  • I'm not like all teenagers who whine and cry, and you should know that, so you shouldn't have to bring that card up with me. 
  • I contribute a lot. Especially when mom is working or when you go out on dates. The boys are probably sick of me, because I'm always telling them what they should or shouldn't do when it comes up. (Chores for example, sleeping, reading, video games, etc.)
  • Just because a pen is missing and you want one to write a shopping list, you shouldn't have to get angry and start yelling. You should calmly assess the situation and interrogate the household members calmly without accusing, and ask for ideas or suggestions. We have some bright kids in this house. 

Now I admit, I have a problem when it comes to holding grudges. I can't easily forget small things like this that really questions me and what I have done. I think it's more about guilt I feel for what had happened than anything else, but it leads me to think about things deeper, and after I have written it out, or discussed it, or even thought deeper on it without letting my anger get out of control, I feel a lot better about it and leave it in the past. It's a weakness I struggle with, and I'm sure I'll struggle with it for a very long time. However, it's these sort of things that teach me how to make my writing and characters stronger. What I feel, what I discover or think about, will most certainly reflect in my characters and stories. I think that's what really makes a writer, and that's what I'm hoping will help me become famous someday. I really have to thank my father for helping me come up with those points, and I will make note that they really help me become a better person.

I do have a preference for calm discussions rather than you yelling at me and making me cry. I am still a female, and I am sensitive. I will cry when my big daddy is yelling at me because I have made a mistake. It is a guilt thing.

Jun 10, 2011


I have created cartoon images of me and all my friends! And I'm prepared to show the world! Not really. That's too dramatic. You know what I mean though!

You've met my brothers before, but here they are in cartoon form!
Yes? Satisfied? Good. Here comes my girlfriends :D Don't mind the carried away.
From left to right: Me, Jasmine, Kaeli, and Kaylynn. Now here comes the guyfriends.
Left to right: Brett, Drew, Nahuel, Tyler Keetch, and Brody. Ta da! I had too much fun today. :P

Anyway, I'll let you go. this might be weird and boring to readers who don't know me well, but as I have said before, plenty of times, I am insane, and you can deal with it. :P

The Story of the Albino

So once upon a time I was talking about how pale I was, and how it upset me. I made the dreaded mistake of calling myself an albino. (I'm not, I'm just super pale.) Kaylynn and Nahuel (My friend, her boyfriend) decided is was hilarious and they call me Albino as much as they can now. It's not like it bugs me, although at any given time I CAN become annoyed, but it is a very incorrect term for someone of my...complexity.

The time has changed, and yesterday I was exposed to the sun for the longest time. I am proud to say I am red rather than albino, and am tanning faster than I ever have, even if that means more freckles to hide the paleness. I am getting a lot more color to my skin now, and I'm so excited about it. I think that the time has come for those two hooligans to stop calling me albino. Bwahahaha!

The End.

Okay, on to more important business. The Party. It is in quite a few hours, but a few painful, intense hours of cleaning. I'm really pissed at my brothers as well, because believe it or not, they always ruin the toilet's clean, working condition. I will leave it at that. >:| No one is fessing up, so I'll make one of them clean it. Bwahahaha! Okay, I need to go work now, so that was just a really random update about Albinos and Cleaning.

Ta ta!

Jun 9, 2011


So I was planning on going to the pool with Kaeli, as none of you know. Well, I doubt it would be an enjoyable experience considering there is very cold wind outside right now, yet super hot sun making the roads boil. How is this possible? It's Utah. There is no other explanation. I also tried calling Brett's home phone, but no one picked up, so I'm crossing my fingers, hoping he'll get on Facebook and look at the awesome invitation, or listen to my voicemail message.

In other news, I've been reading someone else's blog  and I think it's the most cutest, most hilarious thing a person could make up. Not to mention I'm desperately envious of the author's story telling abilities. It's called Hyperbole and a Half. There are comics, stories, memories, and hilarious ads. The best part is, it totally makes my day. Remember when I said I wish I could write something funny instead of rant about my boring life? No. You don't. Well, that's where this little blog came skipping along. I desperately wanted something like that, but I knew not to copyright the idea. That would be bad.

So I sit here, typing and typing, wondering whether I could be just as funny as her. Maybe if I put my mind to it, I could be, but I'd have to figure out a new way and everything. such a figurative sense, I'm too lazy to think right now. It's summer, what more can we do?

Brett should really read this post, and if not...Original Title: Party Time!

I've been wanting to write a blog post for a while now, but every time I open up a new post to write, my words get caught in my throat and I don't know what I want to write about. In other words: I'm getting distracted too often and am developing a minuscule case of writer's block. Naturally I could go on and on about something that doesn't matter to my readers, but today I feel like writing something either very hilarious that would truly make your day, or something serious that would open up the eyes of my readers to something important. I know I'm no good with the latter, nor am I very talented when it comes to writing humor, so I'll force myself to move on to my plans for tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Friday, and Friday's are always good days. You know why? For one, Kaylynn told me that Friday's are good days to die on, and secondly, you can have all the parties you want, even during the school year. It's summer though, so we can have all the time in the world. I'm inviting a ton of friends. I'm too lazy to count them out, but I'm sure it's over three. :P

Just like RMS (Random Music Spasms from hundreds of posts ago) I have created a new term to put in the Dictionary of Mindy.

Impenduiciouspectacular - So awesome that you don't have a word for it until now.
Pronounced (Im*pend*oo*ish*us*peck*tack*you*ler)


Awesomazizaliciousness had been lost on me for a while, but it came back to me when I suddenly discovered Impenduiciouspectacular. Wow. I can type that word as fast as my average typing speed. I'm so good!

Oh. The sudden change of subject from party to magical words isn't irrelevant to my blog post. In fact, Impenduiciouspectacular is a word I used in my invitation for my party. Let me quote myself:

"Impenduisciouspectacular Pajama Movie Party!!!"

Ta da! It should be pretty fun! I'll have popcorn and pizza, and whatever Kaylynn decides is fit to bring...I sorta forgot to make cookies, but oh well. I'll have blankets and pillows and awesome movies that i still need to look for! Thanks for the reminder internal rant! We'll all have pajamas and socks and have fun as a group of friends....Brett...I must contact you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If he doesn't see this today, I will call him when I get back from swimming with my OTHER best friend Kaeli!!!! :D I love her. So yeah, the party doesn't seem all that, but it's about the people who will be here that matters the most. :D Yep.

Jun 4, 2011

Summer Time!

What time is it? Summer time!

Haha, Drew and Kaylynn continuously sang that while we waited in lines at Lagoon. Yes, we went to Lagoon. Freshmen did. It was so exciting. I hadn't been there since I was like five or six, so I never really remembered things like Collosus or Wild Mouse or whatever. I was too young to even go on Rickety, so I had a blast on the roller coasters and waiting in line with my two besties! I mean, considering that Kaylynn's arms are enclosed in casts, both of them, she did pretty well. Until her elbows hurt, which I felt bad about. Ah well. Nothing I can do. Anyway, today I'm going to Seven Peaks. WHOOT!!! Good day huh? :D Yes, very good day. I would invite Kaylynn...but once again...casts....they can't get wet. Grr. BleajfkdljiodasdjnmfinsDIj!!!!

Sigh. That didn't come from me. Anyway, I cried on my way home from Lagoon, and on my way home from the school from Lagoon. Thursday was my very last day of junior high. I will never have to go to that school again and sit in those desks and deal with the unnecessary drama....except for a friend whom doesn't want to see Kaylynn. That's a whole other blog post for the future though. I'm excited that school is finally out, but at the same time, my skin tingles with the knowledge of on-coming sunburns, and my stomach is churning at the horrible idea of ice cream all the time. Dear me. However my body does like it's new bikini! :D excitement! Haha okay, so I'm really weird. Don't mind me.

I'm really restless right now. I'm in my swim suit as we's 10:02 AM, and we aren't going until 3 PM. A little concerned are you? I would be too. I'm just too excited! I haven't been to Seven Peaks in a while, and now that I got my pass of all passes, I can totally go as much as I want! AHHH!! I'm supa excited! My friends even have some passes. How cool is that????

Yep! So, anyway, I'll talk to ya later! BBYYYEEE!