Her Unpending Happiness Is All That Matters Now

She's my best friend, you know? So just as a mother would to her crying daughter, I felt that emotion she felt. It was amazing to see her accomplishments, to watch her grades go from low to high in just one day. Granted, it was the very last day of the term, but she still did it. She's really good at negotiating, I realized. Term Two she made her citizenship grades straight O's which means "outstanding" by just explaining her dire need to have those to teachers. So when her late work due date passed, and she still had late work to turn in, she managed to get that late work in on the very last day, just because both teachers were fine with it. I don't know about you, but I doubt a teacher would do that for me. They always just say "It was last Wednesday, too bad." Thank goodness I learn not to procrastinate until this day, but she does. She got all of her work in, got good grades, and was granted permission to go to a friend's house where she would get to see a friend she hadn't seen in over seven months. It amazes me how addictive her rare, spastic happiness is. I immediately felt it when she experienced it. It was probably the most happiness I've seen in her for a while. Life's been tough on her, of course, and on me through her, but she's managed to keep up without going to drastic measures. I'm so proud of her for that. However, her happiness just fogged up my inner feelings. I'm so glad everything worked out for her, I truly am. I'm envious right now, to be honest. Why can't anything work out the way I want it?  But another side to this question I need to consider and go over is the "Have to" side and acceptance. I know I have to, and you know what? It's not like my parents are going to drag me kicking and screaming. I'm doing all I can to see the positives. But you know, It's okay to be sad about this and let out my emotions and NOT be called a baby or wimp because I don't want to leave. Yes, I know fully well that I'll meet new friends, have Facebook for my old friends, phone, whatever. But guess what? It's just not the same. These friends I'm leaving behind are the ones that got me through the worst stage of school a girl can go through: Junior High. I can't just ditched them so easily. I don't know WHAT I'm going to do without my best best best best best friend in the whole wide world. (Brett, I know you'll feel left out, so I'm mentioning you as my best best best guyfriend too.) I swear, they're probably the only two who read my blog other than the 'rents.

My parents are chill, they always let me go out when I want to, because to be honest, I don't ask for much. I know a lot of teenage girls out there who keep being bratty to their parents and asking, asking, asking for more. Me? I'm good with what I have, but occasionally I do want something, and most of the time, I try to save up for it myself. It's just that now, I've still lost that hundred...hasn't turned up yet...and I sort of need money to go to La Caille after spring break...oh and to get some powder at the Festival of Colors tomorrow. So...until my next babysitting job, I'm sort of at a pause. Lately, I haven't needed to rely on my parent's money, because I was always comforted by the fact that I had money in case something happened or came up. I mean, It's good to know you have a hundred you can pick at once in a while. I'm not like girls who take their money and blow it off all in one day. I try not to that is. It's cool to spend money, but everything is so expensive now, I just try not to. I need a real job, that's the problem.

Oh. And I need my permit. (Addressing Mom and Dad, who I KNOW read this blog.) They're always going off about how they didn't get their permits until sixteen or seventeen and whatever, but this isn't the 80's anymore. It's gotten safer, and at fifteen, teens are getting more responsible, (I admit, not all) and with proper instruction, they can do it. Besides, if you want your license by sixteen so you can actually WORK, you need 40 hours to put in, and when better than to do it during your fifteenth year when you're unemployed still? I personally like the idea of driving my dad around on his business ventures and stuff, that will get me some good hours during the summer. Btw, I'm really responsible. My grades are in good shape. And I think after all the helping I've done, I deserve to be able to get my permit and begin driving. It's also about peers too. I have a lot of friends who are getting their permits between the span of my birthday, (December) to April, and I'm feeling really left out. If I have to, I'll converge all of this into a persuasive essay and show my parents just how persuasive and educated I can be. I really want to start driving now. I want to know how it feels to really be behind the wheel. I want to feel like an adult now. I can't do that when they hold me back.

So in conclusion to this varied-subject post, Kaylynn is all that matters now, since I'm going to be moving away. I'd rather focus on her and be numb to the situation than sob into my pillow about my leave. Also, I'd like to note that I'm becoming more of an individual and want my license. It's just something to note, because since my parents read this blog, they might as well get messages I can't convey in person. It's hard to talk in person, when you're so much better at writing it out. That's the problem with me, I think I'll forever be a writer now. No one can take that away from me anymore. So, gutentag, Mindy's out.