Hey. I'm amazed you've stopped to take a peak! I'm sorry to say that my blog is full of negative, atrociously positive, philosophical, or otherwise stupid posts concerning my thoughts, feelings, and every day life. But what the hell! If you think it's great, then I think you're great. Got it?

Jun 18, 2015

Wanderlust - A Story of How I Just Can't Even

So with all the time that has passed, all those months spent not writing a goddamn thing about my life, that empty void that I left you hanging in, I realize that I have so much to say about what has happened and have been so incompetent about getting it written. I can blame school, because it is not only mentally exhausting, but emotionally and physically. (It's a big fucking campus.) But now that school is out, and has been out since the beginning of May, I have no excuse. I could try and blame my job, which is a boring call center job that you can read more about later on, but even though it feels mentally trying, it really isn't. It's no where near physically altering in any sense except for maybe my lumpy soft body becoming, well, even more lumpy and soft.

But hey, at least I'm doing it at all, even if it is a millennia late.

It's actually been a rough couple of weeks, even though it's summer time and I should be enjoying life and having fun. I've been working a ton, but that's not necessarily the hard part. One year ago I was swept away by Almond and Gary and taken to Paris and Germany for my graduation present. I could try and gush on and on about the experience, how absolutely stunning it was, new, exciting, thrilling, etc., etc. But I don't think Almond and Gary knew exactly what they were going to do to me long term by taking me to Europe so young.

Ever heard of Wanderlust? I thought you might.

It's funny. I am so wholly and entirely consumed by this need to get away from home and explore what the world has to offer to me, but I don't view it as a constant vacation I need. I know that traveling can be stressful and hard and not always like a vacation. That's what I crave though, the challenge to get around, the reward to experience afterward. It's all something I strive for. It holds me hostage, almost, this need to get away. This need to walk our earth and participate in something that isn't mine. Ah, the lust, the bug that creates this disease of desire. It's gotten me exploring any option that might let me travel. I know for a fact that everywhere I went in Germany, I had a smile on my face.

Oh, there were long days of walking and walking and walking. Bu that was enjoyable for me! There was confusion with the train systems and fear of some of the people around me, but that was the challenge!

I am currently planning to save enough money for myself and Brody to go to the UK in a couple of years. Hypothetically, it would be for a honeymoon, just depending on how things go.

The unfortunate part about this twisting, conniving feeling inside is that it is a very expensive desire. I don't have the means right now to go places like that on a whim. So I've been looking into different ways to get me places.

There are stewardesses with free flights, international cruiselines for exploring workers, travel agents with very good travel discounts, WOLF-ing for living freely and lightly, and much much, more. I'm just held down, a little bit, by the pressure of getting a degree in college and a boyfriend who wants to remain where he is.

Oh yeah, college? I'm wishy washy about it now. Right? Like I was going to become this kickass  surgeon and fulfill 13 years of medical school, then I was going to be a chemical engineer and all that jazz, but then I realized that being stuck in an office, despite my love for science, was not something I wanted to do. Not at all. I wanted to get out and explore and make money.

Does this mean I have to take entrepreneur classes? How am I going to make money? I guess I'll just have to figure it out.

Oh but this trip was definitely a good one.

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