Hey. I'm amazed you've stopped to take a peak! I'm sorry to say that my blog is full of negative, atrociously positive, philosophical, or otherwise stupid posts concerning my thoughts, feelings, and every day life. But what the hell! If you think it's great, then I think you're great. Got it?

Nov 7, 2011

Day Eight: Twilight

It could be the time of the day, Twilight, but I think I'll just gush about how girly and amazing Stephanie Meyer's books are. Sarcasm is so hard to show through text. So in case you didn't get it the first time, that was sarcasm. Twilight was alright. Everyone loved it at first. Like, loved it. Even I did when I first read the books. I probably read Twilight and Breaking Dawn ten times each because I loved them so much.

"What is this, you're twentieth time reading it?" My dad would say.

"Tenth, father," I would correct sophisticatedly.

He would chuckle at me like I was a pathetic soul. "Don't you read anything better? Or anything different at all?"
"I read The Host!"

"Also by that horrible author." My dad sighed.

"What? You said you've read Lord of the Rings twenty three times!"

"That's different. It's a good book."

"So is this!"

He inspired me to pick up a new book, and that was when the wave of obsession hit and Twilight suddenly got old in my mind. I discovered better books, with better writing and better characters, and came to hate Twilight as all the masses were. Twilight was still a little inside joke between my cousin and I, because we read it together and associated the characters with our own characters and loved Edward.

Until the movies came out.

Look at this creeper face!

She and I went to see the movie for the first time in theaters, and throughout the movie we were laughing our asses off. First of all, Robert Pattinson is very unattractive. Some might even call him ugly, but the poor guy doesn't deserve that much, considering he was so good in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Secondly, the animation, the running, the effects; it was all horrific. Thirdly, Carlisle was too hot for his own good. I personally didn't like how they did the vampire bites...yuck.

Twilight therefore sucked forever because of the movie's betrayal. Kristen Stewart is pretty, but she's too....ew. I don't know. I guess it's just the character Bella that I hate so much. Going over Stephanie's writing after reading Anne Rice or Stephen King, I realized how her vocabulary must have been obtained directly from a thesaurus and illfitted with her writer's voice.

Then last night I was reading The Vampire Lestat, and I caught something that brought down a revelation in me. Stephanie Meyer used a hell of a lot of Anne Rice's concepts in Twilight and in her vampires. Of course, Meyer had to make it uniquely her own. So she made the vamps in her story horrendous and lame.

First of all, in Interview with the Vampire, Louis recalls how he didn't want to take away a human's life, and how he lived off of rats in the sewer whilst Lestat went off on his own time with Claudia and feasted upon human blood. Louis was a philosophical man and it made sense that he was so hesitant to drink from a human, but Stephanie comes in and just gives us a whole clan of "Vegetarian" vampires who only feed on animals because Edward and his messed up family don't like to drink humans. Where's the awesomeness in that? Why does it remind me of Louis?

Anne Rice describes how fire burns vampires and if they don't have their ashes spread, they'll return in a more gruesomer state. Meyer has her vampires burn. Whoo hoo.

"I straightened my hair until it was impeccably straight." - Stephanie Meyer. Honestly? I see her trying too hard to be literate and have a strong vocabulary.

"Rather this was a thousand times more luscious, tasting of the thick human heart that pumped it, the very essence of that hot, almost smoky scent." - Anne Rice.

You see the difference?

I'm just trying to make a point. As an up and coming author, I'm beginning to get a sense of style and voices and patterns in Author's writing. The more books I read, the more my taste begins to grow and the more my own writing begins to improve. If I had continued to read Stephanie Meyer over and over, I'd probably be as bad as her.

I remember hearing this from someone, though I cannot name the face to give them credit. I think it might be my mom, or Almond...Maybe a teacher? "Don't worry about big words. As long as you tell the story, that's what matters. Talk as you normally talk and use words you know well. Do not use a thesaurus."

Pretty wise, huh? In your face Stephanie Meyer! I actually learn words in school and then use those words after I've practiced with them. Not look up "Perfect" on the thesaurus and choose the most foreign looking one there. "Oooh, impeccable. That sounds like a great word! I'll use it!"

Unless it's all the editor's doing, you're at fault Ms. Meyer. Just saying.

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