Sunday Power!!!

We got the entire front living room packed up, including fragile knick knacks, piano music, books, and pictures. All wall decorations came down today, and after my parents and their friends come back with food for me, we'll start on the living room and then pack up anything that needs to be packed downstairs. I think this is a good accomplishment, because for a while, it was pretty slow. I'm not sure exactly when we're moving, but we have to move. That's all I know, and I STILL don't know where we're moving, but it looks like it's going to be Provo....no!!!! Moving isn't fun, but when you move, it tends to mean more fattening fast food meals. :P They're going to Carl's Jr. Haha...I hope my chicken sandwich isn't cold. If it is, I'll destroy them. End of story.

Les Creativeness!

For I have written ANOTHER Short story! That i Think was just very good description wise...or at least...good for ME. YAY!!! Go to Passion and Roses and look for "The Little Restaurant". Despite the title, it's a thrilling story about a girl caught up with a gang!!!

Ode to Sunshine

Oh darling Sunshine, I welcome your liquid golden rays into my broken yard. For your light repairs all that is broken. I welcome you into my skin, to concoct a slight pink that will soon turn to freckles. Your brilliance on my face creates a desire I've always had since the first dark snowfall of last December. It has been a long three months, months full of depression and hardship, but as you do for the flowers and bees, you have repaired my emotions for today, and maybe for the week. Your stellar light fogs the darkness around me and brings out the happiness that has been lurking in my heart all winter. Sunshine, I have missed you, although you had been there a few times, you were too far away to touch my skin, until now. The early springtime activities makes for a radiant-coated. Already I hear the motorcyclists, and once you have slowly awoken the grass from its long hibernation, the mowers will come and trim them down. It is only a matter of time before I trim my own hair and let you tickle my neck. Your presence also means the closing of the school year, another great feat when battling the ugly homework demons. Ode to Sunshine, for you have created a new me. 

I believe the sun can do so much for you after a hard winter's season. This past winter has been one of the worst I have experienced, but I decided that I'm done sulking over it. I also don't want to sulk over the move. In fact: This sunshine has given me new confidence to write down what I wish to write. I will make a list of all the positives about moving away from this house.

1. I will finally get away from those dreadful forest green walls that surround me every night. 
2. The little toilets that always have problems will be forever GONE!
3. I will have a new dishwasher, instead of having to wash dishes by hand now. Hallelujah!!!
4. The yard hopefully won't be nearly as big as our current one, and it might be fenced in!
5. Although I really like the kitchen, maybe if a bigger kitchen were in store, I'd be even happier.
6. (No offense,) I will be free from the annoying Young Womens and Mormon neighborhood!!!
7. My closet might be better, or I might be able to paint walls? 
8. If we do move to American Fork, I'll still be able to go to AFHS
9. I won't have to walk the same way over and over anymore! 
10. We might have even MORE windows! 
11. Hopefully we get a new refrigerator!
12. A new Microwave!
13. (Only a hope) I want a bathroom with my Bedroom....
14. The Garage door will work in the new house!
15. We'll be getting rid of a lot of stuff now, like junk and things we don't need anymore!
16. An actual office for the computer!
17. Just a new place to dwell in and get used to it. 
18. Probably a slightly bigger room?
19. A chance to by different decorations for our walls?
20. More holes to make in the new house!!! (Nail wise)
21. Maybe a less pricier heating cost! Or AC, whichever!
22. A Fairly nice neighborhood that will leave us alone...religion wise.
23. New Neighbors?

 That's all folks, but it's enough for me. As long as I dwell on these positive aspects, rather than the negative aspects, I'll be fine with the move. Of course, if I don't go to AFHS, it will be hard, but I'll still use this list to get through the hard times...all except number eight. ^^

Mindy

More Packing...

I guess I have finally accepted that we're  moving. Yesterday was Saturday. And yesterday I helped my brothers organize and clean their room. I picked up every scrap of garbage and threw away toys that really didn't matter anymore. It was really frustrating, because only Eric would help me while the other two boys (It wasn't Tyler's room, so he didn't count, except that he was being a VERY big distraction) idled and played with toys we put in different  boxes. I told them to help me because it's pertinent that we clean and pack, but no. The boys were all grouchy and didn't want to help. So I ended up doing pretty much all of their room. I went to every corner and crevice, picked up all the big pieces of garbage, and threw away a lot of their old, worn out, or stupid toys. Who has a shovel thing? I mean c'mon! Tyler wanted to keep it...whatever it did. Blah! Oh well, by the time I got it done, they had one Imaginext box and a half box of random toys and crap. Half a box! When two years ago, they had three full boxes! I'm so proud of them for letting go of so many things! I had to keep telling them over and over that if they really missed the toy, we'd buy a new one, but for now, we don't want to transport it all the way there. One time I even said, "Do you really want to transport a fifty cent toy between houses in the course of a month, only to find you won't play with it at all when we get there too?" The only toys they play with really are the legos, (Somewhat, that's Tyler mostly) the action figures, and any blocky thing they can use to make cities and buildings with. It's really cute, in a way, but at the same time, it's annoying because they transfer the entire downstairs family room into a mini-Greek world. I step on a lot of things down there. Blah. Anyway, so we ended up with one and a half boxes, plus personal items for each boy, and three-very-full bags of broken toys and garbage. I was really proud of myself, because technically, for the beginning of the month, the boys' room is checked off!

After the boys' room, me and my mom decided to go through the storage room, and so we cleaned out boxes that didn't have necessary things to keep, we went through the packed boxes, counted down unused boxes, and finally got around to sorting through packed clothing and Ryan's piles upon piles of clothing. All in all, it was a productive day, but not as productive as I wanted it to be. I wish I could do a lot more, but I'm lost without mom's input on things she wants to keep. So I can't go on to the office or the laundry room, because I need parental units. I mean, I wish mom would keep doing it, but she doesn't have very much energy anymore...not nearly as me. It frustrates me, because I can tell she envies my energy, and I want her to have some too, but at the same time, I don't want her complaining about a headache, or her neck hurting, or her feet hurting, or her fatigue flaring up. It's just so so so frustrating! I want her to keep going, like at train, but I can't ask for that, because that's too much to ask. There's just so much to do, so little weekends, and she still has to work full time. I hate it when she tells me that. "Mindy, I'm tired, and with me having a full time job, I do like to vedge with computer time." It just saddens me, because it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything and that I've got it easy. I don't. I'm always babysitting and taking care of the boys [even when she is home] and dealing with their yelling and screaming and fighting and punching and biting and annoyingness. You don't know how sick of them I am. I apologize, but I wish I was an only child. The messes wouldn't be as big in this house, and we wouldn't have to pack nearly as much. Bet you anything we would have a lot more money too, because we're not paying for their all consuming buffet here. Okay, so obviously the move is taking a toll on me. I'm stressed. Only 30 days, with mom working weeks, and mom and dad going out weekends. It's not going to work unless they stop going out for a at LEAST two weekends, and get packing more! I mean it, it's making me edgy the longer we wait. We still don't even have a house, and it's taking them forever to find a house. How long will my inner torment take place? They're torturing me. I mean it. Grah! This is just so frustrating...

Mindy

Stupid Mr. Earling...

So today has been a fairly good day despite the moving news: well, all through to lunch, then fourth period and later sucked. So first of all, I came to school with a yellow line on my cheek I didn't catch this morning while applying makeup (Don't ask why...) and so I made my friend Drew draw a sun on my cheek in yellow, covering up the yellow line. Mr. Smith today in math called me "Sunshine". Anyway, Teen Living dragged on pretty long, but it was an interesting topic (Sort of) and I was okay with it. The only thing was that we made these "Dating Licenses" and it's just....I mean, It shouldn't bother me, and I should expect it when living in a mormon community, but it said "Legal on your Sixteenth Birthday". Because all mormons believe in not dating until you are strictly sixteen. I think it's dumb, and I think it shouldn't apply to school activities, because school and religion shouldn't cross with that sort of thing. I don't know, I'm over-reacting...because you know, it's insulting to me, at fifteen, when I have a boyfriend...no, forget it.

Second period was PE, and we went to the American Fork Recreation Center for our last day of doing it three days in a row. I already did the dreaded cycling (Phew) and Racquetball, so I had to do Aerobics...it was steps, like the step up thingies, yeah that. It was so hot and tiring, and I just didn't have any fun, but I kept up a fun environment for my friends around me, (I hope). I hated it though. It was just as bad as cycling.

Third period was the same. Said hello to Ryan Bart, listened to Mr. Smith's lecture, and understood most of what we learned, although we're back to doing proofs again....shoot me.

Lunch was the same...I guess I don't really like second lunch because I can't see any of my friends except Breanne. No one else. It's lame...and then my friend Spencer had to do lunch work for tossing a napkin towards Breanne.

Here's where my day sucked: I get to Geography, and apparently Mr. Earling isn't very...perky today. Well, he's handing out papers and telling us what to do, so me and my friend Dustin continue our three-day old game of Dots. Ha. We pass the paper like five times back and forth when Earling stomps over and takes our paper, then says for both of us to go out into the hallway. So me and Dustin sit in the hallway and just sit there. Two teachers walked by and we talked to them too. Then Earling came out, "That was not funny." Dustin said, "Can we have our game back?" and then he retorted, "No. I'm taking it away so you can't play it. Go inside and do the paper." I said, "Oh...I thought we could stay out here?" then he snapped, "No."
Dude, that wasn't nearly as bad as the girls at the opposite end of the room who talks and interrupts and passes notes all the time. I got my citizenship grade lowered and our game taken away. That thing took us three days to get only HALF way through!!! Geez! It was epic too....

Oh then I come home and learn that my brothers are going to have ten little boys, including Eric and David....plus Tyler and Ryan...and I had to man the Relay Races and Race Tournaments. BLECH. I hate little boy parties. Thankfully they're leaving at six....Soon, blogging world, soon.

Ermg.

You know how I have to move? Well, the hardest part is telling people that you have to...or it's hard to hold it back. I wanted to hold it back because I don't know where I'm moving to exactly, but I couldn't keep it from blog readers (Brett) and my Best friend, so I decided to tell my Boyfriend too. Normally people will be on the edge of their seats for a soppy romantic story, but to be honest, telling him just depressed me further. I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all when I told him. He just looked forward like he always does, and when I was close to tears while telling him about the unsure destination, all he did was hug me tightly, but he ALWAYS hugs me, so how is this different from the other hugs? It isn't. I just want to know if he's all torn up about my possible leaving, or if he's found a sudden excuse to get away from me. It scares me, and depresses me more. Before we parted, I mean, he kissed me, but I didn't kiss back. I was too sad to. I still am. I don't feel like being with him right now. That's why I walked away without another glance at him and ate food. Damn. I'm fat. Grah!!! I apologize for those readers who don't like swearing. Oh well for them. It's a part of life. I feel like he doesn't love me. I mean, yes, he waits for me after my fourth period class, and he seems to be happy to see me walk out of that door, and he always hugs me or holds my hand or kisses me, but he never says "I love you." He takes the words a little TOO seriously I think. I say it to everybody all the time...but around him, I feel like I can't say it, even though I do feel that way for him. I hold it back or when it slips, I make it sound like "Luv ya" really really quickly, so he doesn't...I don't know what he would do. I'm really frustrated now.

So. I got new shoes on Sunday, and a  new jacket. I love them both. I have high tops now, and they have plaid on them. For me, Plaid is a very big deal, because I like it so much, and that made me happy, but yesterday, I discovered that they hurt my ankles, because they rub against my skin and make more blisters. It irritated me. So today I wore them with knee-length socks. But of course, I couldn't find the other checkered one, so I had to use my blue star one, and of course I was miss-matching, so I just give up and go to school. Besides, Kaylynn does it all the time! (BLAH!! I'm NOT a Kaylynn-wannabe.) Anyway, so I realize I have PE today, and I get to wear my boyfriend's white shirt he got me, and my capris-short thingies. Don't ask. Anyway, I have miss-matched socks, so now I'm going around everywhere, and people are telling me my socks are awesome, but I regretted wearing them because we cycled in PE and I was so hot, everywhere. I hate sweat. It's gross and sticky and gets everywhere. It probably "cools" off my body, but I find it pointless! Couldn't the Lord of Aardvarks in the Sky just design our bodies differently? No. He wants to humiliate me in front of everyone. Fine then. I bet Aardvarks don't care about sweat. Because they are animals. Blargh. (Animals have feelings.  Take that.)

Oh yeah, so I walked home right? And I got to my drive way. Well, I was so upset that I dropped my backpack and hugged Hondo tightly. (My Dog, in case you have forgotten.) I kept telling him that I was going to miss him through on-coming tears, and I swear he looked sad too, like he KNEW he was leaving...I remember when we had to get rid of Rusty, my second golden retriever. We got rid of him a year after we got the two dogs...kept Hondo, but Rusty went off to a Llama farm. (Random, I know.) And yeah, Hondo's grief lasted for a few weeks. I know mine will be longer for Hondo. :') *Sniffle* I'd show you a picture of him, but Facebook won't let me copy and save pictures, and my computer was cleaned out of pictures, so I cannot. Alas. It's alright though, getting this out makes me feel a lot better. Thanks to those who actually care to read this.

Mindy

My Own Little World

I ran out of fingers. I can't count the number of times I've wanted to disappear. Go somewhere else, where no one will miss me, where no one can tell me what to do. I can be who I want, and no one can stop me except for my frickin awesome bad guy villain! Whom I defeat in the end. Right now, he's taking form as problems in my life, a depressing shadow that looms over me. It's difficult when you don't have the powers in this reality to destroy those annoying things. I want two swords, a dagger, and a bow and quiver. That way I can slice the crap out of my villain and save the day, get the guy, and live happily ever after. If only. My dream guy is amazing, you know, but you'd never find him in real life. My dream appearance is NEVER going to happen. (Yes, I dream of being prettier than I am....I. hate. my. red. hair.) The world I dream about is fiction. And only fiction. Suddenly, just writing to my heart content about it isn't helping. I so desperately wish it were real. For some reason, I feel like I'm going schizophrenic. Save me! Not really...I love this world, no one should save me from something that is way better than the real world. Even computer or music doesn't help me. I want the real thing...even though I never will.

Sometimes I feel like a wimp. Sensitive. Babyish. Because I don't like pain. It's true, I'd rather be healthy than hurt and bleeding, because I don't like the pain I feel. Even the tiniest little cut bothers me, and whenever I complain, people (mostly parents...) say I need to suck it up and that I'm being a wimp...That's why I lie all the time if I get her. "Hey are you--" Thwack! "OH MY GOSH! IM SO SORRY! Are you okay?!" "Yeah yeah, just great..." Not really.... And you know, sometimes I get hurt but it doesn't hurt at all, and I feel like complaining to get sympathy, even though it doesn't hurt. I've never actually faked anything, but sometimes it heals faster than intended or something like that. Oh well. That's how I feel whenever somebody tells me I'm a wuss. Mindy 101: I don't like pain....but sometimes I'll hurt myself anyway.

You're probably wondering why I talked about that. Well, it's because that in my world, there are lots of battles, fantasy battles, (Nerdy, I know) with magic and swords and spears and stuff. (Flying Dragons too...) Anyway, if I were to be inserted into it, I can't be wussy like I am now. I've had such a comfortable life, and it shames me, because that means my descendants will have comfortable lives too, and no one will know how to survive when the world ends!!! .... Shame is a funny word when you think about it. Say it really slowly. Tee hee....