Hey. I'm amazed you've stopped to take a peak! I'm sorry to say that my blog is full of negative, atrociously positive, philosophical, or otherwise stupid posts concerning my thoughts, feelings, and every day life. But what the hell! If you think it's great, then I think you're great. Got it?

Aug 23, 2011

High School

I've contemplated sitting here and typing out every little detail about my first day of High School, but I know I can't do it because I'll get bored. Also, it'll bore others as well. Besides, I already relayed the basics to everyone who has asked me, and I don't feel a need to tell the internet world the same thing. So, shall we delve into some deeper thoughts?

I haven't typed out a blog posts in a long long time because I've been without computer for a long long time. Or at least, it feels long to me, and it'll feel longer when I get assignments that need to be done on the computer. Basically what I've been doing is writing in a journal because I don't have access to my blog every day. I realize that I can put more personal things in my journal than I can on my blog, but I still love my blog and I still want to type, so sometime I'll relay what I've written in the past few days so you all can know what I've been thinking about or going through. Not that any of you care :P

I deleted my goodreads account so I don't get distracted this year, because homework is going to be a big thing. I've realized that the work is going to be very very hard and long and I'll have to work my butt off doing it. I've also realized that High School is going to be very very difficult. Firstly, because I know that getting through those crowded hallways are going to be a nightmare. Secondly, I know that there's only so much time to spend with friends before the bus comes or before lunch ends. Thirdly, the teachers are kickass hilarious, but I know they'll be dumping work on me, and my poor backpack probably won't be able to hold together by the time school ends.

It all sounds so redundant and obnoxious and I know I'm spurring "I hate school" feelings within you, but it's all worth it in the end. I'll work my hardest in learning and keeping up because I want to do well and get into college, and in college, I'll do the same thing, not only because I paid for it, but because I want to learn. To have a good career is one of my biggest dreams. To be a famous writer with a lot of background knowledge so I can write about anything is my BIGGEST dream EVER. The idea of being known all over the world is exciting and gives me an adrenaline rush, and because I want it, I'll get it. That's the difference between me and other people who go to school. They complain about it and they don't know what they want in life yet. I complain too, but to a much lesser extent, and most of the time it is halfhearted. I know what I want, and I know what classes to take and what to do to get there. I know a lot of people who don't have a clue, or their dream sounds pretty insecure coming from their lips.

Today in PE, Mr. Anderson had everyone stand in front of the class and share something about ourselves.

I stood up and said in my loudest, most excited voice, "I'm going to be famous, so look for me on the shelves at your local bookstore. The name's Mindy. Mindy Christen, or it may be known as M. T. Christen."

That was it. That was all I needed to spur excitement from particularly bubbly cheerleaders into asking me what I write and what I've written. I already have a novel. How many teenagers do you know that's written a novel?

It's this kind of attitude that will get me places I want to go. Not many have it, and it saddens me to hear it or see it. Some kids slump around school, complaining about the ache in their shoulders, and they slack off. Where are they going? No one knows, not even them. So why won't they figure something out and pursue it? Because they're busy living in the now and socializing with their friends. It's okay to do that, but it's not okay to think of school as a bother and not do anything for your future. It's your career and your future that will live on the longest in your memory, not your crappy teenage years. That career feeds your children, who will be your future in the long run.

But not many people realize this.

That's why you're not a writer unless you have a message. I have so many messages to share, and I'll share the gist of them all with you right here on this blog. If you didn't like this post, then go somewhere else, because this girl has an opinion, and she's not afraid to shout it out to the world.


August 10th, 2011

School is definitely inching its way towards me. I am simply stating this fact, because I am quite aware of my empty closet and the backpack that has huge holes. I have no money, Carol hasn't texted me in a long time, and i fear that Sissie and Talon have forgotten me. That said, the computer problem arises as well. Our computer broke somehow. I have a look of utter in-amusement as I write this. I finally got a library card yesterday and received internet permission, but I'm limited to an hour daily. In that hour, I type frantically, hoping to get my chapter out on the internet.

Frankly, I loathe the library because of that lone hour I get, but it's my only chance to write and type and roleplay. They should give me unlimited time, because I don't like walking a few miles everyday for one hour when I can use Dad's laptop upstairs. Whatever. Life is never fair.

Regarding that phrase: There are good things that come in life. One is my talent to write. Sometimes possessing that talent results in writer's block, aggravating computer problems, and possible mechanic pencil failures or cramping hand muscles. I'm sure I'm not the only person delayed this way.

School is a major concern for me. Everyday I get to walk three miles to the bus stop, walk around school, and every other day endure fitness. I get to be bombarded in never-ending homework and projects. I won't have the time I do during the summer to read and write. That is why I am plowing through books as quick as I can. I finished Forever Odd in 10 hours straight. Yes, I am insane. My only hope is that for the first few weeks of school, I won't have any major need for a computer.

It sucks to be poor sometimes, but mind you, it's better than being rich.

I am the only way my friends can hang out with each other and kiss while fifteen, and I always will be until they turn sixteen, because that's what living in a mormon community does to you. I've sacrificed a lot for them, and regrettably, I'll continue to.

My life isn't a sappy teenage drama. It's pretty simple and boring for the most part, and I think whoever controls this "bootcamp" life knew that. That's why I've been granted the task to write. I'll excite my life with stories simply because my life has no story. I'm a fifteen year old girl with a huge dream and a small pad of paper. I complain because I can, but I don't mean to complain to the point of annoying someone. It's probably why I don't talk back to my parents often, or why I don't beg after being told no once. I'm limited and restricted, and I know those obstacles in my path, so I walk around it and make do with what I have. How many clothes do you suppose I can buy with twenty dollers? If only five shirts, then I'll find many ways to wear those shirts. I'm beginning to realize that I don't need a classy wardrobe anyway. Just pants and a tee shirt, and my pretty face.

I'll probably type up sections of this journal and put them up on my blog. Including this one, I hope my posts or my words will impact someone, somehow. When they do, if they do, I'll feel like a better person inside. Until then, I'm taking Almond's advice.

I don't need to prove tot he world that I'm not Mormon. I don't have to waste my breath explaining to an immovable person. It's my business, and I don't give a shit who cares or not. I'll keep it to myself, I'll tolerate and respect others, and I'll continue on without so much as a glance or a wound. Religion isn't a priority, and it isn't as important as education and comfort is. I'm no missionary, and I won't ever be.

While I'm on this rant, I might as well add that I am okay. I'm not depressed, but I do sadden. I am content, but I'm not completely comfortable. I want to be bothered, but not distressed. I'd rather not care about how I look, though it is habit. There is food around an din my stomach, though it may not seem like much. I can stand and walk, I can take care of myself.

I am smart, healthy, and clean. That's all I can ask for. I complain, I sadden, and I get angry, but they don't last long. I realize that is the same for everyone else, and that is what makes me unique.

You either get it, or you don't.

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