Hey. I'm amazed you've stopped to take a peak! I'm sorry to say that my blog is full of negative, atrociously positive, philosophical, or otherwise stupid posts concerning my thoughts, feelings, and every day life. But what the hell! If you think it's great, then I think you're great. Got it?

Jun 17, 2011

Forgetful Me

A while back I had written all my friends a note. I cropped the notes. I glued the notes to different colored foam papers. I gave two of the notes cool new bookmarks. And I gave the notes away except for two. I thought that since I can't give those notes away anymore, and if I tried writing it on their walls, it would be too much for poor facebook to handle. But Blogger can do it. And this is how I'll do it.

Drew Renshaw: We've had some silly disagreements recently, but that shouldn't stop the fact that we're good friends and that despite you're a lot closer to Kaylynn, you can still trust me with certain things. You have a slight ego that doesn't necessarily create a distraction, but makes me want to laugh when you try to live up to certain things. (Btw, you're pretty good at it...) You're random, and silly, and You have a spectacular voice, and I wish I could have one of my own. You're talented, and a great actor, and you've made A-Day lunches such a good time.

Kaeli Heaps: You're cool. :) More than cool. You're so sweet and understanding, and I can talk to you about anything if I wanted to. I feel more important around you...except for those times when you're with Tyler. Then I sorta feel like I'm a fly. That's aside the point. You don't hesitate to let me hang out with you when I don't have anywhere else to go, and you've made German and English a blast. Your squeaks, every time someone pokes you, makes me giggle, but at the same time, I can totally relate...because when I get poked....oooh...bad things happen.

Tyler Keetch: Hah. European History. Good times, what with the explosions, the dying people, the dogfights and the wars....:D See, it's a good class to have you in, because you're a guy, and you can relate to me. What with the violence and things. But you're hair is cool, and you're love for Kaeli inspires me a lot...I must admit. Sometimes I'm even envious, but whatever. I just thought you should know that you made this year a good one because you're hilarious. Btw. I forgive you and Ryan for cracking your knuckles over and over....*Shiver* I'm trying to get past that....Trying. 

Maddy Thomson: Sometimes it can be scary, when you fling yourself at me, or your drama causes anger within you and Kaylynn, Drew and I have to run for cover. But as annoying as you might seem to others who don't know you like we do, you have reasons to be the way you are. To be Maddy. I respect those reasons, and on your good, silly days, it's fun to watch you have a good time. Everyone has feelings, and those people who judge you or cause you grief in your life don't deserve to even know you. You're the one who's really spiced up PE when it can be boring, and that's what got me through most of the last Semester. Thanks Maddy, I love you a ton!

Jasmine Brazier: You're adorable, and even though you might be a little self-conscious, (Even when you don't need to be) I think you are beautiful in every way. You've always been nice, and been a good friend, and you've been such a sensitive, connecting person. When you cried for
Kaeli and Tyler's week-long breakup, it opened my eyes to real emotion, and I realized that if Kaylynn and Nahuel broke up, I'd be balling for hours in one night, just for them. So it's that reason why I can cope with you. Another reason is I don't want you to move, even though you are. Karma. Weird isn't it? Everyone was worried about me moving, and now I've turned right back around to wish someone else wasn't moving...I can't believe the school year has gone by so fast, and I've only known you a few months. I should have opened my eyes further...but sometimes I don't think. Otherwise we would have been friends long before freshman year. 

Nahuel Ramos: Suck it up and deal with this new knowledge I bring you: Albinos have feelings. And these feelings come from the heart. Despite your teasing, you've been a great friend. Sure, we don't meet a lot, and even at those times we do, all you want to do is be with Kaylynn, but you do acknowledge me, and I guess that's all that matters. At the beginning of the year, your mysteriousness has always been a little curious-making, and I always believed Kaylynn, but I'm known to have iffy faith in something I can't see. When I did see you for the first time, I knew you were a cool guy. You held your chin up triumphantly, like there is nothing in this world that could stop you from getting what you want: Kaylynn. You're a good friend to me, because you treat my best friend like a queen. You make her happy when I can't, and that's all I can really ask for. We make a good volleyball team, down in Kaylynn's echo room, so there's a plus side to our friendship, and I'm sure there are a whole bunch more pluses that I'm too lazy to list. :) 

Brett Anderson: You're near the end for a reason, so don't feel left out. In fact, I hope you know this, and if you don't, remember it for the rest of your life: You'll always be last, because the last people are who I think about the most. I think of the first ones to get their thoughtfulness-duties out of the way so I can dwell on the ones who really deserve it and really delve deep into my thoughts about them. Brett, you're quirky, you're hilarious, you're silly, you're random, you're smart, you're clever, you're a skinny dude, and you're adorably handsome in my book. Basically what I'm trying to get at is, You're a nice guy, and nice guys are desired in this world. In fact, the world doesn't have enough of them, and I think that someday, when you and Jessica get married, she'll tell you over and over that she's glad she picked you to be her nice guy. Brett, you've made this year fly by in a hurry, but in a good way. You've distracted me when I'm down, you've helped me when I'm depressed, you're crazy with me when I'm spastic and loopy, and you're always there for me. There's not many flaws in you, and it doesn't matter. You don't get embarrassed easily, and I think that's a perfect trait. You speak your mind, you don't hide it. In a way, you're a lot like me, and that's how we get along so well. So remember, this is no goodbye, but merely an early "I miss you letter" for this three day weekend. I'll force room in my schedule to hang out with you this summer, so just remember, we aren't far from each other, as long as you make us close.  :) Love you Brett. 

Kaylynn Farley: I've written you so many notes, so many letters, and so many blog posts, but there's always a limitation to stop me from saying everything I want to say. Time. Paper. Muscle strength. Computer Screens. Battery. Text-message limits. Pencil Lead. I can't ever let it all out at once. So I'm counting on you to be patient with me, and wait for every letter I send you in this lifetime. You're paragraph probably might not have a big summary of the year, because we both know how the year went paragraph today only has one element now, and it's an answer I've been reflecting on for a few months now. If you were to die tomorrow, what would I have regretted not saying to you before you died? Well, McCleskey brought up this question in a lesson one day, and she explained how her uncle died before she could bring him cookies. She had never been able to tell him how she felt and how much she loved him. She told us to tell three people this soon and it inspired me to do this for you. I want you to know that you've changed my life. I thought I was friends with someone who knew me well, but I was wrong. I took a risk and it ended up being a very meaningful one. I became friends with you. It proved to me how much I can trust you, and how much I can tell you. It proved to me how many more risks I can take in my life without damaging my spirits, and how much more I can love a mere friend. McCleskey said that adescolences rely on friends the most in their lives, but I think it's different for us. I think we'll need each other longer than 12-15. I would hope we'd stick together until we're 60. So tell me this, Pepe. Have I been the friend you've needed all year? Every day I try not to be too clingy, like some people. I give you your space when it's clear you need it, but then other times I be there for you, when you definitely need it. I know what your predilections are, and what your dislikes are. I know what makes you tick. I can predict certain things from you, but at the same time, I can't even guess what your next move is. What you should know is that you and I can laugh together, can sing horribly together, can cry together, and can team up and make someone else wish they weren't alive together. One of us might be stronger than the other in sports, but then the other is stronger in homework-smarts, and it balances us out. We motivate each other, even when we don't realize it. We encourage each other, and I don't know about you, but I know for a fact that I would NEVER ask you to jeopardize your future, or ask you to not follow your dreams just because I'm jealous. I will always listen. I will always be honest. I will always encourage you, no matter what. I will always keep our promises and secrets, and I would never forget you. 

Friends are hard to find
Difficult to leave
and IMPOSSIBLE to forget

So don't ever forget this: I luff you with all my teeny weeny heart, because my teeny weeny heart is secretly a black hole that opens up into an earth-sized heart, and that's my whole heart for you and our friendship. 

So yes, that sums up basically all that I wrote to my beloved friends, and that's what I want them to know. Because if they suddenly died and I never got to tell them what they should have known had they died, then this is what I want them to know in case they die tomorrow. You can never know when someone will die...

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